so you know when you get a piece of hair caught in your eye, not a sharp edged rough eyelash but a thin, floaty piece of dog hair, and it doesn't really hurt but you can feel it every time you blink and you go to the mirror to pull it out and you can see it but you can't really get it, and after pulling out several eyelashes in failed attempts, you even go so far as to gingerly touch your eyeball to try to get it, and that doesn't work, and so you get more brazen, and you even poke, even use your fingernails a little bit, trying to grab out that bit of hair, and it's really gross because first of all that slimy feeling underneath your finger pads is your own eyeball and it kind of stings from all the nasty grime that's been accumulating on your hands all day, and then you start to think about how a piece of something from your dog is in your eye, and just when you're about to go crazy from the thinking you snatch one end of the hair and you pull it out in a torturously slow manner, because you'd really like to get it out but you're worried that by some weird freak of anatomy you've managed to grab the tenuously thin cord that's holding your eyeball in your head and a sharp yank would result in eyeball all over the bathroom counter, and so you slide it right out towards the tearduct, and for just a half a second you can't hear anything and the sight of your pupil directly in front of you in the mirror doesn't really matter and all that you can focus on is the gratifying sensation of something sliding gently across the meat of your eyeball?

that was the highlight of my day today.

SOMEBODY POST SOMETHING.

p.s.: if you are not online between 9pm and 1am EST you probably have a life and/or are getting your homework done but you are missing out on some fucking fantastic chatting opportunities. (by "fantastic" i mean "involving poop and acronyms.") out.

posted by Kelsey   [5:58 PM]

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