**Aimee parks her bike at the bottom of the hill and tries to explain to her her confused friend why they are stopping. ' You know that texas shirt that I wear all the time? Well...' They walk up the hill, then climb the porch stairs to find a pimpled adolescent reading Herodotus. Aimee continues explaining TASP to her friend, walking past the involved reader to peer into the house (Kurt Vonnegut lived here! Jamie lived here!!). Aimee and friend walk back to the reader.
Aimee asks if he is a tasp participant, and when he confirms inquires into the subject of the the tasps this year. Something about history- unique and telluridian. Having heard her discuss the rules of tasp and the house, he asks if she is a resident. No, she replies, just interested.
Could they look around inside(and smell the seeping intellectualism)? She knows the answer and when he looks uncomfortable about saying no she relieves him by saying that it is alright if there are rules against it. No, he says, I really can't let you explore. You can peer around the first floor though. They do- they peer into rooms. Students sit on couches with bound readers in silence.
Pedalling away from the house, Aimee looks at her shirt and shoes and face as the character she has taken in the new tasper's memory, and feels herself reflected in people from her own memories: in one example, an adpi girl back with her own memories of a segment of life past that was once so inexplicably real.

I have indulged in telling a third person story about myself.
Sigh... The Cornell taspers moved out last Saturday. Two years, and I'm still sighing over anniversaries.

I have had it in mind to comment on god as well. Unfortunately the thoughts I've wanted to spit out have little contiguous relation to your beautiful expository, Matt. I will say this- I have been very interested in the god of the Hebrew Bible, and if I read you correctly I relate to your passion in his power - it is sometimes both terrifying and reassuring.
I like that the old god has very little to do with morality, so to speak. and that his rules put forth such practicality. This god rules men- those whom he likes, who obey him, are rewarded. Those who do not are punished. Rules for behavior are established to help those men who come next by showing the examples of those before them. Importantly, though, people come first. They follow such guidelines to increase their own chances of success, and the success of the posterity before them. ah! the vitality of it all- is so great. I don't think, that in the hebrew bible you would find martyrs in the modern sense- it simply wouldnt make sense to be more devoted to god than to life- instead, be devoted to god --because-- of wonderful life.
At any rate, what I've wanted to say, but am running out of time and space to articulate, is that I dont think that faith in god is the cure-all it often seems to be, despite the fact that so many believers attribute their strength and security to these beliefs. In praying to god, and believing in god as a personified collection of all positive happenings in the world, god represents the existence of not just as omnipotent creator, but also of all things good. In this sense, the un-existence of god carried the much larger, and more traumatizing implication of the un-existence of good.
Existentialism, depression, nihilism- these problems plague theists as well- e.g. Ecclesiastes, - A teacher explains that he has found much in life, especially attempts for innovation, to be 'vanity,' 'there is nothing new under the sun,' he says. In evaluating many goals and tasks that seem to give lives meaning he settles to say that none are truly righteous. What is left is simply to live- to enjoy life, till the land, reap the harvest, and love the children and family that you set in your place to take up the path. The Hebrew bible's rules then give avuncular advice- of those tried and true systems of a culture that works- they are reassuring, comforting- not hostile.
Here's the kicker: (let me get this out before i fall asleep on my keyboard) You need not believe in god. The advice of the Hebrew Bible does not really rest on any deity- it still explains systems and advice for secure life for anyone. What is more is that if as an atheist you believe that the god that they speak of does not and never did exist, it follows then that all of their advice was not given by a voice in the clouds, but by years of experience and cultural trial and error. It works because the people have, over time, gotten it all figured out.

Ok i have a sense that as it gets later I'm forgetting more and more of the necessary logical links between thoughts. fortunately my insomnia has left off.. Anyhow guys, peace out cub scouts.
aimee

posted by aimee   [1:08 AM]

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