TASP 2003 at UT Austin:
The Mystery of Creativity |
Sunday, August 31, 2003
It's funny you should offer a box of "fresh Colorado air" Bryan. Just minutes ago I was progressing slowly through The Wind-up Bird Chronicle, that book I bought at Book People the night of Dr. Randall's poetry reading and never read past the first twenty pages, and in the book this dead guy bequeaths an 'empty' box for the main character. And I just read that part before I checked the blog site, if that explains my excitement. It's an excellent book, you should all read it. But why I'm bringing up the book is because! I was cheating and skimming through in the pages ahead, and between pages 370 and 371 I found a single grain of salt. I believe it was Olga who suggested that I wash the book with salt when I saw chocolate stains on the bottom of the brand-new book - and Olga, Jacob, and Alex B. were there to watch me try. In my efforts to reexamine the grain of salt from a missing a-d-pi saltshaker (you see, the saltshaker was missing after that night so for the longest time there were two pepper shakers and only one saltshaker on the dining table before they realized this and took one of the pepper shakers away) I lost it, but a tiny indentation remains between pages 370-371 that prove that the book has been severely abused by moi at TASP. Or "loved" as Alex B. would say.
Hmmm...Saturday, August 30, 2003
It's the last Sunday before school starts, and I went online to check my beloved blog-page for comfort, only to find that nobody has posted anything for today yet. I'm terribly disappointed.I really can't stand the idea of replacing my most recent academic experience with the mundanities of school. In fact, as I went school-shopping today, I thought I saw at least three of you: Alex B., Adrian, and Tae-Yeoun--and I desperately wanted to believe that all of you had decided to move to Minnesota without telling me. Sniff. Sorry about the incoherent blog, I just wanted to get something on the blog to continue our daily posting record.
Argh, I had an awesome witty post that extended Tae-Yeoun's invitation to Colorado and corrected Tara's statement because according the computer (show post from this day), Tara really posted on Friday. Unfortunately, that post was "saved" when I went to settings but where it was saved, I know not. So I am offering a "box of fresh Colorado air" to anyone who finds it - delivery not included. What is even more ironic about this post is that it's the second time writing it because my internet connection died. :()
Oh, my useless anecdote that's not quite so funny now but I'll share it anyway because Tara, I too am outraged there were no posts for Friday:
Pirates of the Caribbean began screening in Manila Wednesday, and I took my sisters to the mall to see it today. Thinking of Natashia of course. I don't know how to explain the malls here to you - they're really not so different, yet they're not quite like the malls anywhere else - but it was a crowded Saturday, it was sale season even though it's always sale season, and because it's the end of August all the Halloween decorations were up, so it was pretty crazy there, and in front of one of those stores in small stalls they were selling these ugly slippers for fifty pesos a pair (not quite a dollar) and there was this sign over the pile of slippers that read:
"Please Buy, Please Buy."
And I thought, ooohhhhhhhhhh that's a labor quote, before I remembered no one knows what labor quotes are here. But yes, visit me in the Philippines within this week (the time I'm estimating the stall to last) and I'll take you to see it for yourself.
Web site updated (sort of) - sorry guys, I'd been meaning to do this earlier but I've had a really, really tough emotionally loaded week and I could only get around to it now. There isn't much that's new, but Dr. Randall's poem she read to us on the once and future Friday is up on the index page. : ) So if you want to see more up there, upload or send me your pictures/ final projects/ miscellaneous works! Also, I reformatted the recommendations page but I'm the person promoting my taste most of the time, so please, please, please email me your favorite books/music/movies...Thursday, August 28, 2003
I am so jealous that Susan and Alex B. got to have their Baltimorean reunion. In response, I'm organizing my own reunion by ONCE AGAIN inviting all of you to the Philippines, if I didn't make it clear over TASP that you're all welcome to stop by if ever you find yourself crossing the Pacific...
You don't... :) I figure that anyone who asks such questions without the upmost sincerety is attempting to gauge who I am on the academic standard. I don't like that - and I'm sure that none of you do either... even if we too have such tendencies.Wednesday, August 27, 2003
btw, for the first time in my life, my life-long friends have told me that I am... strange. They think that I am... well, have like Multi-Personality Disorder, because I can go from ultra-stupid to (bam!) what's up?! in discussions. Lol - I don't know - I just got a kick out of that one!
Tae-Yeoun, as I wade through the poetic words of Plath (being slightly emotionally overwhelming) and fighting the ever uphill battle of IB (is easier than last year though... but it's only the 2nd day), I can't help but be thankful for this blog - but especially the discussions thus far. It makes me feel that YES, TASP seminar isn't something that I dreamed...
oh, and Olga, I would love to hear the list of TASPer equivalents in the fine arts. :) I agree, we are beautiful. We've got to make it to the brochure.
before I begin I promise a shorter post this time. I was skimming through the archives today (and at the same time trying ever so hard to digest Bryan's analysis of the defective wheel) and my last post is such a huge chunk of text I can't even bring myself to read.Tuesday, August 26, 2003
so before it gets any longer--
Kafka's been floating around for more than ten days now. Maybe it's a bit soon, but I think it's just about mid-way evaluation time. We chose Kafka partially because it was easy to do for our first trial-period book. How do you think it's worked so far? Do you think it'll work for future books, even longer, less digestible ones? If not, how should our book club work from now on?
argh, sorry to be so wordy.... but today was my first day of school... and I kept comparing it to TASP. So you can imagine how I felt crawling back into the cave of illusions away from the light of Plato? ARGH!! on the flip side, I am ecstatic that we are doing Plath's poems in Lit - even though the teacher leaves something to be desired....Monday, August 25, 2003
Oh yeah, so I finally figured out what is wrong with my ability to visit the geocities page... I have the Seeker virus, which really isn't a virus; it is just a hack that changes whatever to make it so that I am redirected to another page. Hmm, I wonder how I got it... but anyhow, I am systematically going through my .dlls to see which one might be the problem. It might even be a program that sets up temporary .dlls in which case, I am going to appeal to the help of some forums to see how to root out the program - but I seriously doubt that I have a program as I have already done several sweeps through my computer. I'm pretty sure it's just dled harmless little .dll somewhere...
I'm so sorry to hear that your art teacher passed away, Tae-Yeoun. I hope you take the time to meditate (even though I know that you feel as if you have been saturated with the stuff...) btw, I would like to congratulate Tae-Yeoun on using page numbers. I would follow this example if I weren't so lazy... still, I shall try to make an effort.
Hey guys--Sunday, August 24, 2003
I've had a horrible day today, my thirtysomething-year-old art teacher had just passed away quite suddenly this weekend and I'm trying to let it sink in so I'm a bit distraught at the moment, and really not making any sense when I ramble on as I'm doing now, but I decided I shouldn't sit around and sulk so here I am trying to bring the Kafka discussion back down to my level. Good job guys, your interpretations are as usual, incredibly insightful, I'm in awe of you as always, and I'm glad you're keeping yourselves clean.
Skipping over the defective wheel because I didn't understand that (sorry Bryan, I couldn't bring myself to finish reading you last post, it was just too much for me - I promise to read it over again when I'm sane), but respondong to Eunice's posts I think you can validly assume Kafka is speaking from the perspective of the explorer, at least at the beginning of the story. Kafka was big on alienation, and I'm assuming he wrote this about society to try to explain its absurdity to himself, and to do that he has to distance himself from the object of description first. Because the explorer is not a member of the penal colony, he is free to observe disinterestedly from a higher plane than that of the colony and use the whole deal with the machine as an allegory for his own society. i.e. I found the last scene particularly powerful for the sheer irony of that ending - when the explorer is in the boat and he's trying to keep the soldier and the prisoner away from the boat (227). [it's only here in this last sentence I think that Kafka distances himself from the explorer because now the allegory's been stretched to outside of the colony]
Eunice, I really liked your idea about the machine's function being forcing conformity and how it explained why the officer places himself in the machine when he realizes he's the nonconformist - but if that is the case why is the prisoner so fascinated with the machine when the officer's getting mutilated?
Also the idea of language / freedom of expression came through quite strongly throughout the story, maybe this is the nonconformist defective wheel you were talking about, Bryan, Eunice. At one point they talk about how the defective wheel "creaks a lot when it's working; you can hardly hear yourself speak" (194). The very idea that the machine inscribes words onto the prisoner's body, how the prisoner is forced to have that disgusting piece of cloth in his mouth "to keep him from screaming" (195)... and how the prisoner and the soldier speak another language so can't understand the officer when he's explaining the machine, how the explorer can't decipher the writing on the sketches of the plan of the machine even as the officer traces out (as would the Harrow) the letters for him, then finally how whatever that'd been written on the officer's body is as illegible as the "BE JUST!" written on the plans. Miscommunication is such a big issue that the officer places himself on the machine when he realizes that he cannot persuade the explorer - if the machine's falling apart parallels society's own breakdown as everyone seems to agree on so far, maybe Kafka blames societal collapse on an inability to communicate within society?
Sorry I rambled on for too long. I promise to learn to write shorter posts. I miss you guys so much--
ehto?
I completely agree with you, Eunice. But I think that Kafka, by showing all the bad consequences of conformity, is really saying "Don't conform. Comformity is BAAAD! Societies that force conformity (perhaps communism?) are BAAAAD!" Really, to me, the presence of the explorer is to offer the outside perspective of all things that are happening. While it is true that the machine be aware of the squeaky wheel's presence and thus tries to fix it, neither the prespective of the machine nor the wheel will be able to understand the consquences of their actions. The machine will only think that it is Good (in the Kantian sense of Duty) that the presence of the squeaky wheel has been... nullified; whereas, the wheel will only be able to think of the injustice of the machine's actions/duty - but never be able to see the consequences of "squeaking" besides his own demise. In this interpretation, it is only possible to understand what is happening by standing outside of the system (in the chemistry sense of the word - for Natashia) and observing it. Then the explorer's presence is that of the scientist - to observe.
On the other hand, (I like to look at as many perspectives as possible... maybe only then can we understand the thing in itself?) would it be possible that individual wheels are able to understand the machine's duties? Could each individual of our society say what purpose our society exists today and why they have molded themselves to function within our society? In this interpretation, it would explain why the prisoner does not understand what is happening to him. A misfitted gear must be punished - but even that gear, however outside of the system it may be, does not understand the function of the machine. Could it be then that ignorance is also a weapon (just as it is in the Penopticon)? That is to say, the prisoner's ignorance is only enlightened as he dies. If he is representative of a misfitting gear (my justification for this interpretation is that his misfitting in society causes that aspect of punishment to break down just as the machine did... for the machine's destruction is not completely contingent upon the squeaky gear; but rather, the presence of the squeaky gear merely presupposes the machine's destruction), then no gear/individual truly knows the function of the machine/society. Wouldn't ignorance then be a barrier so that the individual is unable to change society's evil function, for the individual is not aware of it? Perhaps Kafka is making the statement that ignorance is a weapon of comformity...
argh... I stink; I need to take a shower...
First off, I think I put too much of the machine's destruction on the squeaky gear--I really should go back and look at it again. I think you're right about that, Bryan. As for the contradiction, going off my previous assumption that one bad gear was the cause of the downfall, two things can be concluded:Saturday, August 23, 2003
1.) The cause of the machine's (society's) destruction is is the squeaky gear (person who does not conform). So, the deviant individual is the one that is at fault, and the entire society suffers. Thus, nonconformism creates bad consequences. The obvious conclusion? Fix the wheel.
2.) So, the machine's job is to fix the wheel (non-conformist person). It does this, but it mutilates the body, and since the body is a physical representation of humanity, all of humanity is destroyed through forced conformance. So, correcting the wheel simply yields another bad consequence.
If both of these are bad, what is the solution? And can you assume Kafka to be speaking through the explorer's perspective? (I don't think so) The explorer is not a member of the society the machine governs/represents. Does his presence cause the malefunction, if the squeaky wheel doesn't?
I'm confused. It made perfect sense in the shower yesterday--I'll go take another one right now.
The problem with my interpretation is that Kafka would support anarchy then... which is obviously not something that the explorer supports (inferredfrom his actions after the destruction of the machine and his reactions to the societal structure of the penal colony as well as the soldier and prisoner...
Wow, stunned silence. That was incredible, Eunice. But I don't see where the contradiction is (perhaps I am too dull-witted?). Anyhow, allow me to elucidate. If the machine symbolizes society as a whole and the existence of a malfunctioning gear were to destroy the entire machine (which I don't believe is true... Didn't the machine simply begin to fall apart without a set explanation?), then it would follow that what Kafka is suggesting is not comformity to make the machine work (for the machine itself has an evil purpose and thus, should not work as far as the ethical standpoint would dictate) but that the machine should not even exist in the first place. If the machine were to enforce comformity - and the machine is evil, isn't Kafka saying that conformity is evil? Wouldn't it follow that the example of one squeaky well is not that that wheel should work but that the wheel shouldn't work. As a result, the machine must fall apart - and anarchy would ensue (and no societal conformity would exist).
Heh, that probably makes no sense whatsoever, but when I was thinking about it, it made sense in my mind... I hate it when that happens...
Hey guys, I'm finally blogging again--after reading away passively for a while, I finally decided to pick Kafka up and take a look. About the self-inflicted punishment/self-correction: (My viewpoint, obviously!)The inscribing that is supposed to take place is like Tae-Yeoun's point--physically inscribing what is to be corrected upon that certain individual. This purpose is the only thing that makes the machine-thing somewhat acceptable in terms of morals (at least by the opinion of the officer), because it achieves its purpose--instilling societal correctness upon the person, literally. He is so convinced of its correctness, that, when the explorer refuses to help him convince the new commandant that the machine is as great as the officer thinks it to be, that he substitutes the prisoner/criminal with himself. Here, it is obvious that the machine controls everything through conformity--it punishes/corrects those who are incorrect, eliminating the differences. Since he is obviously the only one with a societal difference, he implements the machine for upon himself--he is the one that deviates from what is currently correct. However, the machine malefunctions, and the stabbing action all the needles perform do not carve out words, but merely destroy his human form. Hence, taking the human form as a physical manifestation of his mind/soul/person (I really cannot think coherently today), I think Kafka's penal colony conveys that the strict adherance to societal standards is destructive to humanity. So, to outline my points (which I am sure make no sense whatsoever):
1.) Human body = humans in the general; humanity
2.) Machine = Bryan's idea - it is a manifestation of society
3.) The machine's function = to force conformity of wayward individuals to current societal ideas (so society's main function is to force adherence to what is currently correct)
This explains the sudden change when the explorer disagrees with the officer, because at that moment, the officer realizes that he is the one that requires the machine's work; he sees that his devotion to the machine stands alone, all others do not support the use of the machine (in terms of financially, ideally, entertainment-valuely --I know that's not an adverb-- etcetc...)
(Jacob--please excuse my horrific use of dashes, you must clarify their differences once again)
4.)The malfunction of the machine when used on the officer = The punishment that society tries to use to instill what is "correct" on the individual is completely destructive, it doesn't even achieve the initial physical purpose of the machine-the needles do not engrave anything on the officer's body, they merely mutilate him.
5.)Hence, the mutilation of the body is an indirect statement against forced conformity, because mutilating the body employs the body=humanity comparison. This destructive quality of forced conformity applies even to those that support its enforcement, that's why Kafka uses the officer instead of the prisoner.
But then, what of the malfunctioning gear in the machine? If the machine symbolizes the society as a whole, as Bryan pointed out, wouldn't Kafka be saying two contradictory things? That forced conformity is bad, yet one squeaky gear is enough to destroy the entire machine?
I'm terribly sorry, that was incredibly long and discombobulated. I am guilty of posting an enormously long and disjointed blog. Sorry...sorry..I'll stop typing. Now.
wtf is this in my bag? Hey, that's Jared's towel...lol
am i the only one who is supremely pleased with the "related searches" that google suggests in the top banner? not kafka, or tasp, or austin - first "surreal," then a string of korean words, then, out of nowhere - lee thompson young (a.k.a the famous jett jackson). best blog EVA.
ok... hmm... interesting point Tae-Yeoun.... I too shall have to mull over this in the shower...
Hold off on washing the violins!!Friday, August 22, 2003
Hey everybody It's adam again. Nothing smart so say as usual (I think I'm done thinking for the summer). Anyway as you all are thinking about colleges I'd like to remind everyone that the northeast (and especially Massachusetts) has the best schools in the nation. Massachusetts is also the most atomic state (get it? I'm hilarious!). alright I guess that's it see ya
am intrigued by these kafka ideas but i can't be intellectual right now because I JUST GOT BACK FROM A MAGIC SHOW. not just a magic show a freakin magician-off it was so freakin cool i can't even tell you. doves and cards and handkerchiefs everywhere. so, so, so cool. SO COOL!
today i learned my zip code is actually 94131. craaazy.
As Jacob so astutely pointed out in his pubspeak, most of us shower on a regular basis and come up with the odd thoughts one seems to develop best in the shower on a regular basis. (I know, Jacob's argument was different, but I'm severely misquoting for the purposes of the direction of my post) Bryan, I too thought about Kafka in the shower this morning, it was very difficult because the water temperature kept fluctuating (welcome to the Philippines) and it was rather distracting. But this is what I came up with:
Bryan, I agree with you on the symbolism of the machine. Thanks for resolving what the defective wheel is supposed to be - it's been bothering me for a while. What intrigued me however is the Kafka's relevance not so much to Panopticism but 'The body of the comdemned' (must satisfy my sadistic drives). This was the "Body and Soul" week. Foucault talked about how penal systems moved away from punishing the body to punishing the soul. The machine in the penal colony - must quote-drop here just to pretend I know what I'm saying - "the shape of the Harrow corresponds to the human form" (199) - the machine inscribes the punishment onto the body for six hours until the message finally reaches the soul. What does everyone make of that?
And Tara, thank you for your middle name, I promise never to forget it again. As for the italics, you have you select the text you want in italics first before clicking the italics button. < strong > and < em > I believe are html tags. If you want to italicize your text manually, type in the flag < em > before you start your italicized text, and when you're done close it with < /em >. [the flags don't really have any spaces in them]
Love always,
ahh... sorry about E peeps. Hmm... concerning what I said earlier... After much deliberation (that would be me in the bathroom taking care of... ehh... yeah), it occured to me that perhaps the officer to die is the squeaky wheel in the penal colony society - but that interpretation doesn't work out too well. What works better is if we were to interpret the killing maching thingimachig as the officer's perfect society, one that functions with some aim, where all people work toward the same goal and are all wheels in it. In that interpretation, one could say that Kafka argues that it only takes one person to go against all of society to make the whole thing fall apart (which may also be seen in the actual scenario concerning the officer...) I really don't know. I'm just a twit, but I'm going to keep rambling until someone says something!!! so please, if you want to spare me from further embarrassment or just completely trash what I just said, do it...
2.7182818459045...
Hey, did anyone know that on Kazaa there is a video of this DDR tournament? It's kinda funny. The last time I wrote (and it was rather long) it didnt' post. This is short, and I rather hope it goes up. Ah end of summer end of summer. ave. Good luck on applications everyone.Thursday, August 21, 2003
Hmm... interesting, wasn't the Foucault about the Panopticon? Well, if my memory serves me well, then I would hesistantly surmise that perhaps the "killing machine thingimachig" is a representation of the penal colony (or even perhaps society, in a larger sense?) and that the a creaking gear in the works - a complaining proletariate (spelling?) - is all that is needed to make the whole system go to whack. Heh, what interests me more though are the implications that the "killing machine thingimachig" is society. Does Kafka mean to say that society, when as beautiful constructed as that thingimachig, is carving away at something/somebody (maybe our humanity?)? That it is only when society falls apart that we are no longer destroy ourselves? That maybe anarchy is truly the most pure state, the most harmless state for man to exist in? Perhaps in this sense, it refutes the idea of the Panopticon...
This is all just random things, don't even begin to take it seriously because I am writing it late at night after losing a tennis match (got bageled 6-0, 6-0 woohoo!) and these things are... stuff that I thought about in the shower.........
okay, boys and girls, who's read the kafka?
i have a first discussion question, a real simple stupid-type question...why were we assigned this on the same day as the foucault? is the story supporting or refutating his theories?
(if that's a really, really dumb and obvious question, keep in mind i never read panopticon because that was the day i had the raging fever from strep throat. also, how about you make up your own before you start judging, huh? you lazy overcritical bum.)
Dear all,Wednesday, August 20, 2003
I've had the most frightful experience today during Band. 4th period, end of the day, we were playing Sleepers, Awake! and of course I was falling asleep, and as all my meandering thoughts ultimately seem to return to TASP (of course!) it wasn't too different this time-- but you see, I'd realized that I had forgotten Tara's middle name! (her birthday, thankfully, I'd still remembered, but I had to rush to my calendar to check just in case) Alex, we've all been through it I think, trying to describe TASP and not being able to have anyone understand even a fraction of how great it'd been. "You've already said it was wonderful, can't you say anything else about it?" whine my friends who now refuse to listen to me on the matter. And I personally have given up trying to describe TASP, because every time I try my memory gets even dimmer and I'm so afraid of desecrating the memories (sacred and fragile like HRC manuscripts) in my gropings.
So. That is to say. This is why we have this blog. Praise technology. I love you guys.
(Tara, I still want your middle name, I am so sorry.) Did I already thank Kelsey for how beautiful it's become? By the way Kelsey, thank you for the clocks as well, I love them. :) (inconsequential addition to the smiley face archives) It gives me a feeling of genuine mushiness as I try to imagine (quite assuredly) what all of you would be doing now - with the exception of maybe Aimee, for whom it's a little past midnight, the common activity happens to be sleeping. (God, I hate this date line)
For Jacob, and anyone else who doesn't know what we're reading - we're reading Kafka's 'In the Penal Colony,' in our course packet. Metamorphosis is not on our list yet, but everyone's welcome to discuss it (preferably in relation to Penal Colony just so we're on the same page). We're reading the Willa/Edwin Muir translation - and in case we start spewing page numbers, I'm guessing the book is: "The Metamorphosis, in the Penal Colony, and Other Stories (Schocken Kafka Library)" How I got this information is a prime example of unprofessional research - I looked up Penal Colony on Amazon and checked all the page scans of sample pages (just the table of contents) to match the page numbers, but hopefully it's the right book. Excited to hear what everyone thinks...
Kudos to Natashia for sending in her project! It will be up on the site shortly - htmled, so that Alex has no opportunities to send me on more guilt-trips.
Kelsey here -
Well, I have college applications, summer homework, and room cleaning to do, and I have spent all day today eating sugar-free Jello and dancing around to my dad's Elvis Costello albums in chronological order. (All of them, all the way through - even Goodbye Cruel World and Mighty Like A Rose. No skipping. A girl's got to have some discipline.) God, I love summer.
Camp was wonderful and beautiful and magical and somewhat softened the post-TASP blow. Of course, now I miss camp AND y'all. My taspsickness was relieved a bit by yesterday's momentous event - the first (as far as I know) official Austin TASP 2003 mini-reunion. Jared and Jared's friend (whose uncle owns Zante's pizzeria, hello free pizza for Kelsey) drove down from Santa Rosa for a visit yesterday. It was a gloriously foggy day (thank goodness - Texas and camp were just too freakin' hot) and we got Mitchell's ice cream and went to the Wave Organ. That sounds dirty, but it's not, and I will take anyone who wants to see it when they come visit me, which I know you're all making plans to do. Jared says hello (he can't figure out how to work the blog.)
A few days ago, I talked to this girl Elizabeth who was at the Michigan TASP. Apparently their curfew was 1am and they only had to call if they were going to be late. Also, their papers were due at seminar time, not 6pm the night before. I say we initiate a post-TASP revolt against our obviously cruelly dictatorial factota. Oh, and they're totally down for declaring war against Cornell TASP, even now. So that's the news from Ann Arbor.
Anyway. I am very much in favor of short + sweet posts so I will wrap this up. Love you all (duh). Stay out of trouble.
ahh... Kelsey - as always, you clear up the messes that I cause. Thank you for that technical point of order - I had completely misunderstood the whole "post and publish" deal. Thanks.
ATTENTION: TECHNICAL POINT OF ORDERTuesday, August 19, 2003
this is to clear up confusion and prevent bryan from having to send out nefarious pi scouts...
the difference between "post" and "post and publish" is that while "post" simply saves your entry to the blogger database, "post and publish" updates the website. if you press "post", probably no one will see your entry until someone decides to go hit "publish." if you hit "post and publish," we all get your creamy bit of update goodness in real time. this is especially important to those who can't figure out the blogger website (jared), those who are not yet members of the blog (our professors), and those Michigan TASPers who are stalking us (more on that later). moral of the story? always press "post and publish." thank you, that is all.
OMG!! you called counting crows obscure!!!anyhow, not that I listen to them, but i knew them way way before i knew jm... sorry about the little pi spout, i needed to see what yall wrote... Jacob, my dear, dear friend. I am disheartened to hear that our 3 hour afternoon endeavor was all for naught. I'm sure that it will arrive safely at your house (perhaps the blackout slowed postal?) Although, I would think that yours should have arrived the same day mine did or a day later. I got my package Tuesday....Well, have fun kids - stop being sallies, you're making me hold my pillow when i go to bed at night.
3.14159265358979323846264338307950288....
Thank you Kelsey for formatting the blog page; it's beautiful. The previous format had been annoying me forever - I'm so glad the text size is what it is now! Thank you~
Natashia, I was so moved by your post, it had me turn into a complete Sally all over again. And Tara, I know what you mean about how dreamlike it'd all been - I think we can all relate. All throughout TASP we'd kept referring to it as "surreal" and how we'd have to return to the "real" world - but it was so wonderful that way, even though we long to return to it now. When we stayd up all throughout that last night, that stuck in my memory as incredibly beautiful, just the idea of the twenty of us sitting around the table, waiting for the dream to end and not wanting to let go, because we ourselves were fragments of the dream and all of us were waiting to wake up, and when the dream ends, to cease to exist in that surreal world.
God, I'm not making any sense. Sorry, I just got back from school, I'm tired. Those college apps are painful to think about, the same goes for my extended essay and all the other work I should have had completed before the school year started. BUT school was good today, because I had the opportunity to sneak in among the drama students and watch Tom Stoppard's Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead (put on by our much celebrated drama teacher and a couple of school alumni) and thought it absolutely wonderful. It was almost annoying to watch because it was so rich and so dense and it was staring at me right in the face and I wanted to soak it all in but I lacked the capacity to do so. So, nevermind the long exposition- for all of you well-read thespians, do you mind telling more about it?
This is from Matthew, who's been having some technical difficulties:Monday, August 18, 2003
hey guys! sorry i havn't written anything else yet but I've been having problems with the blog and most everything else. anyway, how 'bout a funny story from O'Neill, NE? I told Kelsey about our crazy Sheriff who puts his hand on his gun and says to people (including the jailers in the county jail!) "The only person above me is God, and since there is no God there's just me." He also took out our jail's intercom system so no one would spy on him. You Californians will be pleased to know that we've initiated a recall drive against our sheriff. I wouldn't count on a woman harassing blasphemer surviving the vote (my parents supplied two of the needed 1011 signatures). I visited my sister at the University of Nebraska (where my parents want me to apply) one of her friends who grew up on a small town near us was talking about how Lincoln was "the real world" that scared me; a year from now I plan to be out of Nebraska. Does anyone know any quality pieces of anti-intellectual writing? Analyzing such a text would be so beautifully ironic. If not I'll try to write one.
Peace, Matthew
Natasha...you remember me for air hockey!? Oh man...I'm still trying to figure out what it means to be best in show. I like to have small little conversation-like posts so I'll try to get that started. See ya
Btw... it's still TASP time...
publish allows people outside of our blogging but on this site (blogger.com) to view it... it's probably not something you would like to do unless you're trying to tell the world something - which I would encourage.
Hey does anybody still have a copy of our assignments? Sally that I am I'd like to keep it and say holy crap I read all that...
agh okay it is late and i am tired. want to tell you all about camp but must get sleep. as you can see, have changed template and dropped all articles from writing style. am liking v. much, like bridget jones.Sunday, August 17, 2003
ripped this template from some website. do speak up if it is hideous or entirely unreadable.
in "taspers" box to the right those who have joined the blog get the boldness and color that comes with a mailto link. if this entirely arbitrary decision is disagreeable let me know, easy to change.
also if i have missed/mistaken anyone's email/sn drop a line kindly. also if you have a personal website/journal/blog thing please tell so a. we can snoop to our hearts content and b. i can add a link.
the color came with the template, can be fiddled with and changed completely even. if people want to pick out another broad theme (say, purple) then let me know and i'll change it or you can go to colormatch.dk and play with the automatic palette creator too.
what else. it's my birthday in three weeks. go to girlsarepretty.com. went for a run today, will be hitting you all up for money shortly. love and miss all of you. more tomorrow.
hello boys and girls...am back from camp and will have an update soon, but just wanted to let y'all know i'm playing with the formatting right now
I went ahead and made the time TEXAS time - but I don't like that term so... how about TASP time? I figure it's the time that we all knew each other on... heh
Hey Bryan you and I are one of the few to have copies of Tex-men. Um I don't have a problem with you uploading it if you know how to I've been trying to figure it out. I meant to put my pictures and the actual comic and my final paper all on the same disc...if you wait a little while I can send you the text and you should have everything else. Thanks
Penal Colony. Bryan, I'm with you all the way - it is extremely disturbing; to think we'd have had to read it on the same day as Foucault! I can't think of any systematic way to do this but to encourage everyone to throw out discussion prompts and/or questions. I'm being obnoxious, I know, but here's what I feel to be a good starting point - let's talk about the defective wheel.Saturday, August 16, 2003
Excited to hear everyone's responses--
Heyyyy someone came into the geocities site and htmled the word documents, I am eternally grateful; thankyouthankyouthankyou. : )
I'm still waiting for more once and future projects...
About how the post times are recorded - I could not figure out what time zone to set it to, so I went international and set it on GMT. Which really isn't too logical because none of us reside in London now. All of you have admin power over the blog, so feel free to change the time setting in a peaceful manner.
Thanks for the info on my cds Adam. Jamie, are you out there? -
I also seem to have left my paints behind, or with Tara, I'm not sure. Anyone who knows about that would also be cool to drop me a line.
Anyway. Couple of quick points:
1) I'm really proud of everyone too, whatwith the seminar discussion style weblog; I feel like we may have the highest IQ weblog in history.
2) Yes Susan, the story is real, though slightly different. He marked a big "X" over the whole page and wrote into the margins something like, "I can't define courage, but leaving this application part blank is the epitome" and they let him in, but his amazingly high test scores and good grades etc. helped a whole lot. He went on to become a college councelor and he has a web site that recomends how smart kids who hate high school can get into college better, you can probably google it.
3) I am profoundly happy to read Alex's final project, kudos to everyone
4) Eunice, I will be in St. Paul at somepoint soonish, as we have discussed, while there I think I will record your Final Project. Then, when my cd is done (which will be soon) I'll send copies of it with my cd to everyone in the mail or something like that. Maybe I'll just hord her project to myself, I dunno. Or I'll upload it.
5) This is the last thing: The first house meeting I said I would use everyone as characters in a novel or short story or song or poem or something like that someday...well I started my second novel and am integrating TASPers into it as I need them for the story line. It's temporarily called God Was A Child Once and I'll try to upload as much of it as possible as soon as possiable to the web site. But only if people like Olga and Alex and Brian and, well everyone really, promise to upload some of their works. If they do it will make my heart glad.
Opra, Kafka, here I come.
-john
John hey I found your CD case on Saturday and I gave it to Jaime. I'm not sure what he did with it though you should get in contact with him. Oh and can I recomend Longinus for the book club? Tae-yeoun baby you'll get a copy of my project once I get my paper back... alright that's it
Please tell me I'm not the only one greatly disturbed by In the Penal Colony...
Yeah, about Final Projects... I could send mine - but then who would want it?!! So let's talk about Adam's project. I just happen to have it - courtesy of Adam's using my laptop. It concerns me though because - first I could send it without Adam's permission but then that wouldn't be very polite, would it? Secondly, the project is broken up into many different pics and would be hell to send - seeing how e-mails and websites only allow you to upload a FILE at a time. This means that someone would have to take the time to upload each picture at a time. So here's what I am planning to do - I am going to put all the pics into one file (probably a *.doc - because Word just happens to treat each picture as a whole as opposed to other programs (besides Adobe - but I don't want to spend time relearning how to use it) - yet if the *.doc happens to get insanely large as documents with pics often do, I might consider switching programs.) and then I will upload it somewhere. The problem is that I can't upload it to Geocities because I can't get there (I have no idea what is going on with my ability to open that webpage... - it opens a "white-pages") and I probably won't be able to send it over e-mail because it will be so large. I do have a subsequent account at Send2Store.com
ID: citixensrepublic@hotmail.com
Password: 3Yr54Awy
Where it is possible to upload 5 mbs at a time with a 100mb cap... - so if you guys just feel the need to store absolutely random things there without making geocities too cluttered (I have no idea whether it is because I have never seen it) or if Geocities fills up and it's not something you necessarily want to post - say an IQ testing program (heh) - go ahead and do so...
I might attempt to upload it there but whether that too is possible is an unknown variable in this rather complex equation. I'm sure what I am saying is complete crap and Tae-Yeoun knows of a better way to do all this without all the stupid tech stuff. If so, please let me know.
Wonderful idea Jacob, the TASP book club, hmm? Shall we set a day/time on which we shall all have read it? As for the blogs, I confess that I haven't had the opportunity to touch the internet for a couple days, while my fingers itch to get off the piano and onto the keyboard--I'm starting to develop Jamie's little hand trick---only my idiosyncrasy taps out all your email addresses.
I also had my final roll of film developed--filled with DDRing, toga-clad TASPers and happy smiles, which reminded me: How are we going to receive the photos that the UT photographer took of us? Have any of you received yours yet?
A final thanks to all of you that have been submitting your written final projects to Tae-Yeoun ~ I'm currently in the process of revising mine.
My apologies for the aimless quality of my blog.
*Eunice
Bryan, you're not alone, I too am a loser. My day pretty much centers around the blogs - I'd spend all my time in school anticipating my return home to check the site, then the rest of my day would depend on whether or not people have posted new blogs. There was once an afternoon when no one posted anything new and I'd wallowed in the depths of Sylvia Plath depression (no not really, but close) all day. I don't know what the deal is with your ISP, but I'm guessing it's either your ISP or your IE (or whatever browser you use) because everything works fine from here where internet is ssllooowwww.Friday, August 15, 2003
From the responses we've had I think we're okay with Kafka - sorry it's so dictatorial but democracy is too slow to work effectively here. (no room for robert's rules here, sorry) We'll see how we do with Kafka first, then we can move on to Book MCXIIII of War and Peace if Alex wishes it so. (Philip Glass wrote an opera to Penal Colony or War and Peace? Philip Glass only needs to compose four notes to make an opera and get away with it...) Excited to hear what everyone thinks, and I'll have to start reading myself.
Kudos to Alex B. for sending his final project; it's up on the geocities page. (actually it isn't yet, but it will be in a few minutes.) With much reluctance I've put up my unfinished work up there only so that Alex doesn't feel betrayed, so now all of you, at least the ones with projects in text form until we figure out what to do with Adam, Eunice, John, Adrian... - need to submit your projects! You can mail it to me at avellyne@yahoo.com or create your own pretty formatted page at the geocities account, I already gave you the login information.
Love always,
Jacob(or anyone else who knows)- what the hell does tcby stand for? you wrote it in my journal as well, and interrupted my weeping and wallowing with a hiccup of startled confusion, and I would like to know what it means.
to all- yay!!! I'm ecstatic that you have all run with my idea, and though kafka seems a bit intimidating, and I will probably be one of the laggards, I think we should definitely try. yaaayyyy. ok buh bye gtg start reading
oh and p.s. I have also rediscovered my aim account from freshman year (the epitome of my nerd-dom, i'd rather not talk about it) anyhow my screen name is, i think, mean mrsMustard1, for all those who don't know, it is an allusion to a beatles song (back in the day i considered myself a hardcore fan)
anyhow, with the time difference I haven't found anyone online at the same time either, but if you do happen to be awake/online, message me
aloha***
Wow... I feel like a real idiot... umm.. eh... so anyhow, life continues. See, the short way to explain this erratic and savage behavior of mine (besides being from Colorado!) is that I would check this blog several times a day (yes, I'm that sad...) and would find nothing posted. That is to say, (HA, JAMIE - What is UP!) I did not view any blogs between the very strange capslock post and the very strange post about my making fun of posting right after Tara. lol - everything is fine now - except for geocities... Perhaps Tae-Yeoun could explain how my ISP would effect my ability to view this website?
Speaking of absolutely random things, I particularly find - eh, Jacob's idea of the book thing intriguing... I would do my best to follow along but I have a hinting suspicion (shoot, can't spell) that with college applications, I would be flooded. I already feel overwhelmed - please tell me that I am not alone!
Oh yeah! books... umm, I'm reading this absolutely fascinating book called "WE" by Yevgeny Zamyatm. It's much like "Brave New World" and "1984." - Interestingly, it's written from the future to us... A short read - haven't finished it yet though.
All right, from now on, I will be posting random things up so that I might be able to view your blogs... If it comes down to reciting pi, I'm sorry...
lol... for some reason, it didn't show any posts until I posted something... heh
sorry... please disregard my ranting...
HELLO?! IS THIS WORKING STILL?! DOES GEOCITIES WORK FOR ANYONE ELSE?! - MY PERSONAL WEBSITE ON GEOCITIES IS DOWN TOO! WTF! UM... sorry about my caps... I can be a real jerk about that. Oh yeah, as well as my language...
Jacob, that is a wonderful idea, as much as I hate Oprah. I've been talking to Brian about this over *gasp* AIM (my first AIM chat, reason enough to celebrate), and I think our first book ought to be something short and easy. Starting with War and Peace might be quite off-putting and the project (not that it will) might gain a bad reputation from the beginning when it already holds so much wonderful potential.
SO this is the decision Brian and I came to after much delibration.
Kafka, Franz. "In the Penal Colony."
Justification:
(1) We were supposed to have read it for seminar anyway before the professors canceled it to make more room for Foucault and final projects. So, even if some of you have read it already, you'd have reread it for seminar anyway, so there's no harm in rereading it for the rest of us.
(2) It's in our course packets, we all have it, we might as well. I personally don't have access to all the wonderful books you have at every bookstore in your country, and it's just easier for us lazy / disadvantaged people to start with something we have already.
(3) As I've said before, it's short, and a shorter piece seems more suitable for our first work until we get the hang of how the discussions will work out.
(4) It's Kafka!
I'd post more reasons but I've just taken out my course packet and it smells of TASP, it's crazy, so now I have my nose pressed to the pages and inhaling like the maniac I am.
Brian suggested that we don't have a deadline for people to read it by, because "actually, we might want to just leave it open, but have people blog comments when they finish. Hopefully then, as more blogs come in, the laggards will be inspired to get reading."
Yes. What Brian said.
John Says:
FYI my aim screen name is "RickamoJ" in case anyone happens to want to drop me a line. peace out
john says:
What is Up!? i'm blogging and that makes me happy, and I'm remencing Austin, which is also happy. I'm still trapped in Texas though, I don't head back to Nebraska until Sunday night. I've been trying to get in touch with Matthew cause I'm going to be driving his direction weekend after next and I think I will stop though O'neill. It would be the first 2003 Tasp reunion that I know of, though I guess Alex B and Susan have a permanent reunion going on, ditto for the NYC kids. I thought of Olga and Jacob and Yablon (and Brian in Ohio) when I saw the news. I hope everyone weathered the storm well. I imagined, for some reason, Yablon in mid leap from his bed to the floor hitting a power chord on his electric guitar with uber distrortion at ungodly decibles as the power went out - similarly, Jacob I saw trapped in a subway car with no power and he rallies all the other passengers together with a battery powered boombox as they do a collective hokie pokie screaming "the goose is loose" - meanwhile, Olga and Brian I both saw poetically sitting and writing to the lights of candles, even though Olga told me once she wasn't allowed to burn them at her house.
That's my story of my overactive Tasp imagination. Thankfully, my grandparents here are always eager to hear youthful strories of out exploits with robot hats and whatnot.
On a sadder note, I left my cd case in austin. I am praying someone found it? I will seriously cry if I can't get it back, so if you happen to know what happened to it, drop me a line, if you will.
I forgot to post my recommendation of the day. I have resolved to be the geekiest of culture geeks this year - bear with me.
It was the week before the first drafts of our research papers were due. Because Brian and I were both working on Anne Sexton, we were sharing our resources (actually I was just leeching off of him most of the time) and I visited Bryan-and-Brian's room for the first time to get a copy of Middlebrook's biography of Sexton, and saw above his bed a poster of a Rothko painting. As much as I love it I am an art ignoramus; I don't remember the exact painting. I'm guessing Blue, Orange, and Red - but it could have been any combination of color names.
"I love that painting!" I had exclaimed.
"Now is it this particular painting that you love?" asked Brian.
And I didn't know what to say. I guessed then that my favorite Rothko was Red and Yellow (no. 12) because it's the most famous for some reason I only vaguely understand. But here it is - it must be difficult to fully appreciate Rothko without viewing the actual paintings (a privilege I've never had and most likely won't have for a while) but if you could go to [http://www.artchive.com/] and go to the Rothko section, and find your favorite Rothko.
Keep the creativity *flowing--
Checking the blog site is already a routine part of my otherwise monotonous life. Oh, and running, dear God, AIM, in hopes that one of you happen to be pulling an all-nighter (hasn't happened yet, you lucky people still living off of summer left over). Came back from school today and the New York area blackout was on the news - hope you survived that (sorry you get very little sympathy from me; we get blackouts every time it rains). Mainly due to the sudden flood of blogger invitation acceptances I'd gotten in my email this week my inbox has reached an impressive 314 messages, and I thought of dear Olga, who was born on Pi Day. And who is now enjoying herself in Italy... I miss all the girl talks, I really do. Without you around to offer to accompany me to the gym (even though you knew I'd never say yes, you kept asking) I'm getting lazy with my sit-up resolution, and I get so afraid I'd revert to being my mediocre pre-Telluride self again.Thursday, August 14, 2003
Having to get up at 6:30 every morning, I'm already getting lazy with the morning pages I vowed to keep up with.
"Discipline me!" (- Bryan, my Korean buddy. I'm getting good kimchi, you? And my "real" water - bori cha, which I drink without pouring it first into a smelling cup)
I went shopping for school supplies yesterday and I bought a frame for your Rothko photograph, Alex, black because you'd signed it in black ink, and underneath the glass the signature really doesn't show. I told you you should have signed in silver!
Eunice, every time I sit at a piano I think of your composition, I can't ever get it out of my head. You have to send all of us copies of the score... I'm regaining my tone - without all the talent around that filled the house over TASP my flute sounds, oddly enough, a lot nicer. Not that it's a good thing, because I'd start playing and I'd be pleased with myself then start kicking myself for being happy for the wrong reason.
Brian - I noticed that Cleveland was also affected by the blackout, hope you're doing well enough without electricity. You can work by moonlight if Matthew doesn't start charging you for your light... I think I just might switch my extended essay question to Anne Sexton, isn't that awful? Oh that woman...
Adam - I would really, really, really relish a copy of TEX-men. Is it possible for you to burn a copy and mail it, please? Please?
Jamie - this is my first time blogging (I'd never sworn against it though) but I think anything you put up would be fine. Put your morning pages up if you like and we would (at least I would) peruse it with the utmost interest. Thanks for mailing my project to Professor Randall!
Sorry, I didn't start the blog meaning to post personal messages to people I could send annoying little emails to instead - but now that I've typed all this up I'm reluctant to take it apart and send it in little emails (because I'm still holding on to the idea of 314 messages in my inbox - it holds special poignance) so I apologize... I really do have a great deal more to say but now I feel somewhat guilty taking up all this space with my ramblings, like the person who takes all the caviar off the communal salad.
People still need to email me their work--
Who the hell am I kidding? I'm not gonna get around to adding more to the project. But hey still send me your pictures. You guys probably know more about this than I do but can I put my project on Kazaa and have you guys download it?
Ok um...in response to Tae-yeoun...
yeah I think the file would be too big to put on that site (though I haven't even tried there's literally about 150 or more jpegs). If you really really really want a copy of TEX-Men then send me and e-mail and I will send you a copy by mail if I have time (I don't mean to be snobby but I can be very busy). I've actually considered adding more to it with pictures that were developed after the project was completed. Now that will depend on whether I have time and a scanner to work with. At any rate to do this I'll need some of your NEW pictures. So send them to me if you're interested (you won't get any of them back though). Either way it won't be as funny as the original-the humor depended on the shock value and the fact that we were together as a group. Well whatever I can't make any promises. So send me you pictures and what not I guess.
Tried to get a break from all that nagging from friends and teachers everywhere about the extended essay / college apps by arranging my stamp collection and realized I can't find the stamps I'd stolen from a great number of you throughout TASP. I remember scopping the pile up and putting them somewhere, but not much more than that - does anyone else by any chance happen to know if I'd actually brought them home? (cause if not that would really, really suck)
oh. smart. The AIM ID is avellyne - but once again, every time I'm online it's probably some really really inconvenient time for you (and vice versa) - I hate living in this time zone. (I am, by the way, as much as twelve whole hours ahead of you people, ha.) Flying back here I'd been cheated out of half a day of my life (minus 0.0003 nanoseconds, Bryan. Thanks.)Wednesday, August 13, 2003
I am still waiting for people to email their final projects to me at avellyne@yahoo.com. Please don't be shy, we've been living with each other for six weeks... Because I am disappointed that I personally am not getting my free manuscript library material (I'll just wait for the signatures) I'm threatening to start harrassing individual people through email so don't put me on your block list just yet... Adam in particular -- I think all of us would love a copy of your final project (oh the poignance it holds) but I doubt the geocities site will support a file that big - what do you think?
To add a new direction to the blog, as Aimee's suggested, I have finished reading The Color Purple yesterday and did not like it much. (the opposite of a recommendation, sorry) Although I'm sure everyone else would appreciate them, I personally am not asking for recommendations just yet; I'm somewhat overwhelmed with all the titles and names people have dropped here and there throughout TASP, and I have to crawl through all the wonderful books I'd gotten at the secondhand bookstore (with pretty covers) there... But yes, contradicting myself as always, post your book/music/movie recommendations here or email them to me and I'll put them up on the geocities webpage where only my own heavily biased list stands alone for the moment.
My recommendation of the day: Not that I thought the poem so spectacular it had to be the first thing I recommend you, but it reminded me of a poem Olga read at the poetry reading - I believe she'd entitled it something where the main word was Pragmatist. The poem is: "The Secretary Chant" by Marge Piercy. (it's feminist - *gasp*)
Missing all of you so much--
Ya know tae-yeoun it doesn't really matter if you have aim if you don't give us your screen name lol
This is from Adrian, who seemed to have technical difficulties trying to post his message:
Does anyone else find that at every conversation you're tempted to reference TASP? Or like, when you're outside you see people and for a brief moment you thing it is someone from the program? What was it, like saturday, I was on my bike going to a friend's birthday party (it was 76 degrees outside in the sun) and I could have sworn that I saw Kelsey in that pink dress and black shirt and John driving a car. ... I must have driven people mad because I kept having to stop what I was saying in mid sentence because no one else would get a joke about Lorca or Bloom or Levi... despite the stopping I still made a fool out of myself.
right.
It's like 10:03 in the morning and I have to wear long pants. But. The trees here are pretty, and the people don't wonder when you put an arm over the shoulder of one you've known. .. ha.
I hope you all are having a wonderful time readjusting to having to clean and unpack and forage for food (and on and on) ... doesn't it all feel weird?
- Adrian, Mon, 11 Aug 2003 11:51:38 -0500
The blog and webpage are keeping me sane, because without these I'd be persuaded any day that I had dreamed all of TASP up. I'm sinking into the mundane trivialties of school - my schedule is the most unbalanced thing, and IB diploma is the devil (Bryan! Alex! back me up!).Tuesday, August 12, 2003
I was snapping throughout my classes today; people stared at me quite strangely.
I've been rambling on and on to everyone here about how wonderful all of you are, that one doesn't ever meet people more perfect than you. By now everyone here is so sick of me talking about you, but nevertheless, I've been sharing my pictures - here are some responses you may find of interest:
"I thought you went to a place for smart kids." - my mother [ref. to particularly goofy picture of jared and jacob in robot hat and bag respectively]
"Harry Potter!" - Bo-Won, my younger sister [ref. to a picture of Matthew before his $6.99 haircut]
"Look, you've taken a picture with a white guy!" - Rohan Mascarehnas [ref. to picture of alex b. and me]
"No wonder you're jaded, look at all the eye candy you've been getting!" - Rohan again [ref. to picture of jacob and alex b. in togas]
"Wow, you had a gymnast there too?" - Sean Park [ref. to a vertical picture of Eunice at the piano he happened to view horizontally]
"Did you go to Texas?" - Sanaa Rahman [ref. to group picture with all of us in glowing texas shirts]
The pictures are up on the geocities site. Email me for copies...
Sorry I'm taking up so much space, I hate this hideously large font, but here are public messages addressed personally to individual people-
Bryan: geocities is up and working; both the tasp site and my personal site have been perfectly accessible to me. maybe it's a problem with your isp?
Jacob: html is very, very easy to learn. But you're the person who "tried to letter 'PROCRASTINATE' across his door and tired halfway" so I'll try to make it even easier. When you've logged into the geocities account, there should be a box called "Advanced Toolbox" in the upper-right corner. Go to [File Manager] and just proceed to [open file manager]. Once you've done that you get a list of all the files under that account - most of them should be the 48 poor-quality pictures I've uploaded. The ones with pencil icons next to them are ones created with html; check one of them and click the [edit] button. Now you see all my clumsy script in my favorite feature of html (tables). Ignore all that, compare what's written there to what's actually up on the site and figure it out. If you don't want to bother with formats, just get to the text chunks and type away. If you do want to bother with formats, email me so that this blog post doesn't get any more tedious than it already has.
Olga/Adam/other AIM people: I finally have AIM, although it's some ungodly hour in the morning whenever I'm online... and just thought I'd let you know that I personally prefer msn messenger the way I prefer PCs to the monsters you call macs.
Sorry I've taken up so much space, I've got to learn how to fix the font. I'm enjoying the blog so much; I hope we all keep posting. I got an email from Dr. Randall (my 'lost' final project) and she'd been reading the blogs, too. :) I'm already getting excited about our next birthday (I will try so hard to remember all twenty birthdays and middle names) which I believe is on September 2nd...
Love you all so much--
hey guys, sorry to contribute to the sappy quality of our blogg, but I have recently become crowned the queen of sallies, and the position requires me to bitch and moan about my taspless condition. Well, first of all, I got home to find the world turned upside down: Mauna Kea had erupted and covered all of west hawaii with hot molten lava- well not quite but my school was painted, my sister has just left for college, a room of our house was remodeled and we have a new dog that was very cute until he ate my slippers. His name is boots (though i of course suggested the classic name Square Root Of Two, no one else seemed to be in on the idea). anyhow even with all of this i can't help but feel like everything is too normal; people look at you funny when you use phallocentrism in daily conversation, and nobody else has heard of LL nunn.
the point of all of this rambling is to ask you excellent and motivated people to please throw out a telluridian lifesaver to a drowning aimee and post any particularly good books or poetry you have been reading, and then i'll try to read them too and perhaps (please don't throw anything at me when i say this) we can discuss them in a seminar like way or WHATNOT. I don't really know what i'm trying to write anymore, so I think that I am going to stop talking.
ohh thats what I wanted to say before I got off track- I am starting to be less sad that I left tasp, and like the true sally that i am, I really kind of miss feeling sad, because I feel like I'm not sad anymore because I've kind of devalued tasp, and started to forget how much i enjoyed it, and it scares me too that I am not so sad anymore because I feel like I am adjusting back to my usual state of comfortable mediocrity- somehting that I am mortally afraid of, and losing all of the ways that I have changed- i guess I don't really know why I am telling you this- I'm not exactly sure how you folks could change it , but i just don't like it, i dont like it at all.
and those are my greetings from beautiful hawaii
p.s. to monica- hawaii, though less hot, is definitely more humid than austin
p.s. to all- did anyone find my journal? i think i lost something else but i forget.
Perhaps it is just me and I am beginning to fritz - but is the geocities site (all of it, because my website on geocities isn't working either) up and running?
Final projects and miscellaneous pieces of writing (Jacob, Alex, Olga, this means you!) can go up on the geocities webpage for people to view and download - how does that sound?
I can't force anyone, but please email your files as microsoft word attachments to [avellyne@yahoo.com] (I don't trust my hotmail - it overflows too quickly) and I'll put it up on the geocities site as soon as I can. Thanks everyone--
ugh no wonder! I just got an email from Dr. Randall asking for my final project and my heart stopped because the night before I presented I'd stayed up till 6:30 (with Matthew) watching Amadeus and finishing the illustrations, and I don't even remember enough of what the illustrations looked like to redo them.Monday, August 11, 2003
Today at school I slept through three of my four classes, but nevertheless I met Vicky (my counselor) and told her about my almost-purple hair. I'm actually nodding off as I type...
I have no idea who Vilma Santos is. From what Danny the hairdresser said I'm guessing she's a celebrity here - an icon of Filipino pop culture I do not keep up with at all.
For some reason some of the posts that are up under the manage posts heading are not actually posting on the actual blog itself - hopefully that would get fixed. I've put up all the pictures I have on the geocities webpage. There are 48 in all not counting the 19 I lost very, very stupidly on one of the once and future days - including mugshots of you guys sleeping on the bus to Winedale, and my favorite, the Matthew series! Because I had to upload them quickly the resolution is extremely poor; just email me if you want copies and I'll mail you developed copies (because developed and printed photos are so much prettier).
LOL!! only two minutes after Tara... hahahhaha - sadly, as much as I hate texas, I miss it too... God, I'm such a sally!
Bah! muahhahahhahah! Trying really hard not to sound heartless, but haven't cried yet. Whenever I feel the pain, I just start doing the robot dance or singing "if you wanna..." - yah, yah, yah. Anyhow, I am delighted, Tae-Yeoun, that you even asked if he had purple! lol! By and by, exactly who is Vilma Santos? Eh, oh well. Speaking of random thoughts, where are all the wicked ass sallies that aren't signed up for the site yet? (kudos to Tae-Yeoun for setting it up!) - Sorry for the randomness of my thinkings - I did a lot of very liberal actions today which I normally would not have done... it frightens me. Did I change that much at Tasp?
Anyhow, I would like very much to get some final projects through e-mail. If you aren't shy about it, please send it to me/us... Btw, Tae-Yeoun, we found your final project in the Secret Headquarters after you had left when we were seeing what free stuff we could take home with us. Jamie has your project and stated that he would mail it to you (but that Jamie might be keeping it as his very own memento - you never know!)
Tom is Adam. Hmm I don't remember putting my name down as tom...eh whatever. Anyway Tara has your pillow and some towels n' stuff.
Hello everyone!
I'm back in the ever-wonderfully cool Minnesota, wondering why my parents have turned the air-con on when the outside temperature and humidity resembles that of the air-conditioned quarters of our beloved sorority house. I miss all of you so much; it is incredibly difficult to return to associating with less than remarkable beings after one has been treated with 19 of them! By the by, I must have forgotten my pillow--do any of you guys have it? No matter, keep it as a fond memory of your friend Eunice. I have also headed to the expensive pathway to curing my illiteracy: Barnes and Noble, and exhaustingly frequent trips to my puny local library. I request suggestions for worthwhile reading--by posting them on the blog, everyone will be able to see, read, and rant about them. One final question: Who's Tom? Keep writing!
*Eunice
Sunday, August 10, 2003
i was trying not to post here so that the people who i've already talked to online 4 times today (adam, olga) and called twice (tara) wouldn't think i was a total loser, but there's just no hiding it. y'all (god, i can't stop saying it) are the best thing going on in my life, and i miss you a lot a lot a lot.
as for the songs, i guess "if you want to sing out" has its own sentimental connections for me, but i won't be able to hear "crazy in love" without thinking of tasp. oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh oh-no-no. i woke up this morning and i was like, "fuck, aimee, you forgot to set the alarm again." then i cried. well, not really, but i thought about it.
i'm about to leave, 8 more hours. where i'm going is not like tasp except that it's cut off from the outside world, no communication in or out. i love camp but i want to cry not being able to talk to any of you for a whole 7 days. i am such a dork, such such a loser, and so in love with all of you, and i miss tasp like a motherfucker. anyway. i have to go to bed now. keep updating the blog, and if for some strange reason you are checking this site but not your email, here's my address at camp:
kelsey innis
camp okizu
po box 1310
berry creek, ca 95916
write me, please. i'll be back the 17th to harass all you crazy geniuses. much love and peace out.
For those of you who haven't gotten my first email, I'm breaking the chain of sentimentality to post something I remembered on the plane - my mailing address (I accidentally put my house number from three years back in the journal):
Tae-Yeoun Keum
1787 Pomelo Street
Dasmarinas Village
Makati, Metro Manila
Philippines
Ten minutes ago I started Kazaa and with much fondness downloaded one song - you can already guess what it is. And with that playing over and over again in the background I checked my mail and of course, the blogs. Bryan had posted the lyrics, and I read along as "dulcet tones of Cat Stevens [that] warm the hearts of mankind" (I'm sorry Alex, I will quote you for the rest of my life) went on and on, and on again - all the while being a complete Sally, as Adam would say.
Typing this I've moved on from Cat Stevens. And yet each song I'd loved before TASP still has so much poignance, even more so than they did before. Each of them have some connection to one of you. Lux Aeterna from the Requiem for a Dream soundtrack, Jared, then the great Scott Joplin. The theme from Love Story, Aimee, Eunice. Bryan - Simon and Garfunkel (the song my computer chose happened to be America). John - Philosophy, Blackbird - you have to promise to play Ben Folds for me someday.
Turns out, even before we'd met, we'd had much more in common.
This morning my mother remarked that my hair had grown too much over six weeks. The hairdresser's name was Danny.
"Do you know Vilma Santos?"
I didn't.
"Very famous actress here. How long have you lived here? Can you speak Tagalog?"
I've lived here for eleven years. And I can't speak Tagalog.
But Danny with the composure of all creative beings on the planet spread my hair out across his open palms.
"Look, so dry. I can put [something that sounds disturbingly like cellophane], yes?"
No.
"And dye. To make it shiny, you know?"
And with that, I remembered.
"Do you have purple?" I asked carefully.
Danny exchanged a look with my mother, and that was the end of it.
"Ahh, so nice, you look like Vilma Santos, na!" said Danny over my black hair.
Sorry, guys. My hair will always be purple at heart.
Oh also I am SHOCKED at how many people don't have aim (america online instant messenger). If you don't have it you can go to aol.com or something and download it for free (and no you don't actually have to live in America Tae-Yeoun.) When you get it let us know.
And thanks to Tae-Yeoun for all of your hard work in these sites you kick [behind].
Hey everybody just thought I'd check in to see what you're all doing. I've been having some family problems so I can't really talk too much for a week or so. I will keep in touch though don't think I won't!
WWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPP?????!!!!!!!!!!!
ok... only slightly annoying - but being the first person to respond, I feel this inherent need to scream for people left behind :(... anyhow - I managed to put off the pain of not seeing all of you by singing...
"If you want to sing out, sing out.
And if you want to be free, be free.
There's a million ways to go (I think those are the words)
You know that there are...
And if you want to be me, be me,
And if you want to be you, be you,
There's a million things to be (Still thinking... )
You know that there are..."
I think I hummed that all the way home - people on the plane seemed to be annoyed - especially because I drifted in and out of consciousness... Funny how life goes on...
Lol - I have a distinct feeling that the undertone (or overtone - hahhahah) of these bloggings for the next week will be overly sappy because we all feel the same way...
Hmm, interestingly, as I jotted down random things in my morning pages (yes, I'm still trying to do them), I looked up half-expecting to be in the seminar room - the light creating shadows that write, shaking the tables with small squeaks - only to find myself in my room. Oh, oh -= incoming message=- =warning=- 'pain' -=end message=- ah, time to sing... - if you want to sing out, sing out. and if you want to be free, be free...
August 9, 2003
- 10:49 AM [Texas time]
(transcribed and posted August 11)
Monica's jinx came true - here in the cramped business lounge Korean Air shares with British Airways in the DFW airport I have no internet, or for that matter computer access. I'd counted on catching up on the meal American Airlines had cheated me out of here but all that's available to me are goldfish crackers and coffee. So here I am, amidst arrangements of beautiful and august but quite useless furniture, consuming packet after packet of goldfish crackers and ever so primitively writing this out by hand in hopes that I'll have time to type it up in Inchon where I'm guaranteed internet access...
I know America to be teh country where everything comes in large sizes. (Your McDonald's large fries are an international joke) In Texas in particular - the Dallas airport is monstrous. I had to take a train from one end of the airport to another and from there walked for 40 minutes from gate B1 to B35.
The US just happens to be a large country. It's rather depressing, the thought of being so large a distance away from this large country in which all of you are scattered throughout, but it has its positive sides I suppose. For one thing, it's reassuring to know that I'd be welcomed to guestrooms and famous restaurants if ever I land myself in some crazy part of the country one of you happen to be in. (who knows, I may finally get to taste a genuine American Thanksgiving dinner!)
I still have half an hour left till boarding time, so I will ramble on as I've been doing a la morning pages and tell you how beautiful you all are.
You are beautiful.
You are so beautiful and so dear to me that I, in my desperate longing to see you again, see you and our shared memories everywhere. Boarding my Austin-Dallas flight after saying goodbye to Susan then Aimee (Aimee was the first TASPer I met - and in the amazingly symmetric nature of the world she happened to be the my last TASPer...) I saw a face with a cynical smirk and my heart leapt, for one brief moment seeing Alex Yablon in the seat diagonal to mine. In every girl with red hair I'd looked for Kelsey. When I passed one of the may stamp-selling-machines (what are they called?) in the Dallas airport I remembered an incident exactly six weeks ago at the same airport when a boy, who now in my memory seems to have a remarkable resemblence to Alex Borinsky, asked me to excahnge a newer dollar bill for an older one that the machine would not take. I stepped up to the machine and looked for all the stamps you had given me.
Trying to find my way in the airport I came across an advertisement on the wall. Like Jacob's mosquito it screamed in white letters against a yellow background:
"Friends, Romans, Doormen -
Lend us your ears!"
On my train ride from terminal C past enormous areas of construction sites to termanl B of the airport I had a 10-month-old girl sit next to me. She stuck her tongue out at me (like the annoying girl in Bell Jar) and smiling I stuck mine out in response. I continued lolling my tongue out at the infant until I realized I was being watched by everyone else in the train with me, so had to laugh sheepishly and apologize. But when I looked down at the baby with her large hazel eyes I couldn't help but be reminded me of the poster Olga had put up above her desk:
"the more I think the more confused I get," it had read.
Jamie had seen it last night and had called it hideous.
"its head is too big," he'd remarked before following it with a comment on its resemblence to Winston Churchill...
(You see, I want to see you this badly - I'm taking the most irrelevant events of my extremely monotonous trip back home and trying without success to piece them together in a way relevant only in TASP logic...)
Five minutes till boarding. By now I've read and reread the messages you've left in my yearbook and memorized the characteristics of each. Alex Borinsky for example crosses his t's only when he feels like it. Jacob substitutes all of his vowels with a small, barely noticeable squiggle in the cursive of his words. Leaning or crooked letters is an impossible concept in Monica' writing. When Jamie reaches a second e in a word containing multiple e's, the latter e is significantly larger and darker than the former.
Boarding. It's as cold as Eunice's description of Minnesota here - even colder than our seminar room.
*break*
Never mind, my flight has been delayed yet again; I'm stuck for more hours in this barren, cold, internetless place.
*this is where I realize if I go on I'll be sulking the whole time and giving the already "rambulatory" first blog a bad tone and no one will want to contribute to the blog page after that, and stop.*
August 11, 2003
- 2:24 AM [Philippine time]
Sorry the first blog has to be like this. I'm still trying to figure out how this whole thing works... if this first blog is an eyesore please post more until it gets pushed back into the archives.
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